


tell you good news that i dont believe

by nbsherlock



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Coma, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-10
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-03 17:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4109818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nbsherlock/pseuds/nbsherlock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>i. i don't know what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell you good news that i dont believe

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this on my iphone as a result of some bad feelings.

"brilliant, that was," john says. sherlock smiles, continues his deduction. this time around his voice shakes and his teeth shiver.  
"fantastic!" john exclaims. sherlock's hands shake,  
"thank you, john."

suddenly the air feels very still. it wasn't like this a moment ago. it seems as though no one is breathing. holding their breath. 

"sherlock-"

"yes?"

"john... john isn't here, sherlock."

john glances up at lestrade, seeming strangely calm for having his existence questioned. 

"what are you talking about, he's right-"

sherlock turns to where john was sitting and sees an empty space. "what." he digs his nails into his hands. "he was right here. i swear."

lestrade wipes a hand over his face. "go home, sherlock. i told you you weren't ready."

"no," sherlock stumbles to his feet, a fawn struggling to find his footing. "no, he was here, lestrade. please-"

the air shudders and kickstarts. sherlock takes a deep breath and wakes up at john's bedside. 

bart's is dismal and it aches to inhale. sherlocks lungs hurt from his screaming and his arms ache, his shoulders weighed down by something heavy. 

john is still unconscious. it's been what feels like months and nothing. admittedly it's only been two days but that doesn't rid Sherlock of the blood at the back of his throat, sore from shouting or bruises on his knees, holding john up in a pool of his blood and when they said "don't move him, don't move him" sherlock had moved him and maybe just maybe john would be awake right now if not for sherlock's idiotic mistake and the yearning feeling he had to hold him in his arms before he died and

sherlock breathes. 

john's heart monitor beeps. he's alive, at least. that's more than sherlock had originally hoped. just bare movement, under the skin. his heart beating steadily. he's still alive. 

\--

week one is digging nails into palms and scoffing at doctors when they say that john is doing well. week one is sleeping bent over and living off hospital coffee. week one is please, please don't make me leave him. please let me stay. 

mycroft holmes is an awful man and makes his brother come home with him. 

he says sherlock is stinking up the hospital and sherlock snarls in response. 

he does need a shower, but he won't admit this. 

\--

weeks two and three are curled up in john's bed and screaming, crying. he wants him, if he could only have told him before this happened. if he could have said i love you i love you i love you then maybe this would hurt less. 

but probably not. 

\--

week four marks the day something changes. something about his vital signs or his heart rate changes and sherlock is walking on air; almost gets hit by cars on his way home to tell mrs. hudson, laughing and crying and holding his sides as to keep himself together, from falling apart to the floor like he was before. 

john is there. he's still in there. 

\--

week five is The Week, they say. they think he might wake up. 

\--

week eight sherlock is. he's.

\--

week 16 is. alone. and. 

\--

week 17 is the week! they say. that week 17 might be

\--

week 30 is dismal and he doesnt think he will be able to make it through another week knowing john is there and he is here and john is still tucked away in his mind and sherlock wants to DIG HIS FINGERS IN AND RIP HIM OUT AND PLEAD WITH HIM PLEASE PLEASE BE WITH ME CAN'T YOU SEE I LOVE YOU JOHN I NEEDYOU PLEASE. 

\--

week 31 is the week. it has to be. it has to be. 

\-- 

week 53 ends up being the week. a year after the accident and john finally wakes up.

sherlock is lucky-- lucky, he thinks, in all of this. to be lucky-- to be sitting next to him when he does.

his eyes squint open like they do when they share a double bed on cases and sherlock gets close enough to see the first even breaths of john waking up and seeing the light of day and being alive, he's alive, he is

he opens his mouth

"what happened?" he mouths. no sound comes out. 

"bad accident. a bomb." sherlock vaguely recognizes that he is crying. 

"how long?" a faint crackle of his voice. 

"a year." sherlock whispers. 

john seems honestly shocked by this, like he wasn't keeping count in his head, keeping count until the day he could see sherlock again. 

"a year," he mouths. "and you-" he glances up at sherlock, whose eyes are wet, arms wrapped around his sides as though he'd fall apart without them there. "still here."

"where else would i-" his voice breaks. he cries a bit, into his hands. john stays silent. 

when sherlock comes back out, john is staring at his hands. "how could you not get bored?" he mumbles. 

"you don't bore me."

john laughs, a hoarse, sandpapery thing. "no?"

sherlock cracks a smile, "no," he whispers. john glances at him. 

"well." he folds his hands in his lap. "you should contact the nurses or something."

"i need to-" sherlock starts, breathes. "i need to say, before i go."

john's eyes are wide, but not in confusion, more so in expectation, surprise that this is when sherlock is choosing to do this. 

"i love you quite a lot," he says, clearer than anything. 

"oh?" john smiles. "odd. i seem to love you too, idiot." the insult thrown on in response to sherlock's face going white, jaw going slack. "go get the nurses."

"you're okay?" sherlock whispers. 

"i'm okay."


End file.
